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Thursday, June 28, 2012

Friday Fictioneers: Penance

Thank you Madison Woods for providing this opportunity and flash fiction photo prompt. Her story is available here.

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Endless days of wandering through the arid wilderness without food and little water, he comes to a wooded haven seeking shelter from the relentless sun. The sound of trickling water fills his ears. 

 Blessed Goddess has finally shown mercy.

He kneels before the spring splashing water on his face. Glorious relief floods his parched skin, but when a drop touches his tongue he tastes the bittersweet poison.

He jumps back and sees the lethal red berries on the bush growing beside the spring leaching it’s toxin into the water. Witchlock. He should have known the Goddess wouldn’t be so forgiving.

***

Thank you so much for reading! Comments are welcome. :)


13 comments:

  1. Hi Melania,
    I love the primal nature of your story. It made me want to know what he had done to provoke the wrath of the Goddess.
    My story is here: http://bridgesareforburning.wordpress.com/

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  2. Dang! I had it when water is really poison. Ruins my day. Nicely done.

    Mine is here: http://wp.me/p1Wqon-bl

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  3. Poor guy. What did he do? Mine is here and linked as well: http://readinpleasure.wordpress.com/2012/06/29/fridayfictioneers-seduction/

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  4. Ah, very nice - I can't help but love a hopeless journey story. Where has he come from, and where will he go if he survives? I'm intrigued! Nice descriptions, too.

    Here's my link for your readers. Thanks for stopping by already!

    http://pinionpost.com/2012/06/29/five-sentence-fiction-reaping-rewards/

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  5. Oops, wrong link! Sorry about that:

    http://pinionpost.com/2012/06/29/the-tenants/

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  6. For a moment I thought he was imagining how good life suddenly became. Then he tasted the poison and suddenly everything that was so blissful and pretty too real. Who is this guy? Why is he running? I Love the share.

    http://remakingme-atiyatownes.blogspot.com/2012/06/flash-fictioneer-friday-berries-and-pip.html

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  7. Rock > him < Hard Place

    http://logo-ligi.com/2012/06/28/w-m-d/

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  8. I knew those rebellious berries were up to no good the minute I saw them. And it appears the Goddess is not too friendly either. It makes me want to know more.

    thanks for visiting & commenting on mine. Here's the link for others http://russellgayer.blogspot.com/

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  9. Where are we? I'm lost. Witchlock should definitely be kept away from drinking water. How cruel of the Goddess to have helped him to survive the desert and try to poison him when he arrives in the cave. Goddesses are not what they used to be! My story's on the list.

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  10. it draws one in with curiosity about the rest of the story. Nicely done.

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  11. Hello everyone. Thank you so much for your comments. I normally try to reply to as many as I can, but I'm under crunch time. I have 30K left tp write on a YA I would like to pitch to a couple of editors in three weeks at a conference. So you can see I'm a little strapped for time. Thanks again for stopping by.

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  12. Good stuff - he must have done something pretty intense to be put to this kind of penance -- and better yet you're working so hard! Go go go!

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  13. Very well written, I like the twist and that the Goddess might not be so forgiving... and for what we want to ask. Nicely done.

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